Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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