People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much Jack, so little girl.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize