My room smells like vodka and shame
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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