your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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