A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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