she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
