So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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