its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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