PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
