I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
