You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
