so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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