i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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