i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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