I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
