today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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