Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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