dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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