dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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