her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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