so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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