I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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