i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
