She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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