Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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