Im at strip club and am horny
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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