We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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