I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
