i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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