every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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