On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
