In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
