am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
