i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
