It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
