guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
