I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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