did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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