Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
