he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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