using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
