New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
this hospital has no fireball
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
