I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
