so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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