so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I wish you could order shots online.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
