Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
