Say something about gay babies.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
