I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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