This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
