it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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