first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
