since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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