I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
