Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
