Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
