Don't you send me to vm
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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