yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
