yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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