i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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