Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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