Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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