I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize