I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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