that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
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And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
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Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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