Yo dont text me then not text me
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
