you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
