im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
