You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
This is not my ceiling
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
